Saturday, January 19, 2013

Pardon this your Coke in my tree?

First off,  (taps microphone), My name is Stephanie and I am addicted to Science Fiction.

In fact, for 10 years not only was Ed a grand PooBah in Star Trek fandom, but we worked for a Star Trek/Sci Fi Convention promoter.  Name a Star Trek star prior to the Enterprise series and I can tell you a story about them.  Nice stories for the most part, but there are a few who are not my favorites!

In the beginning, Ed was merely the grand PooBah of a local Trek club.  This club is set up with clubs being named ships and people holding 'rank'.  I was the Communications officer.  Go figure.  We gathered up an interesting little group of about 40-50 souls from all areas of the geekdom:  misfits; socially dysfunctional; parent dwellers; technical nerds; and thankfully a handful of 'normals' who saw the love of Trek as an avenue to doing good.

We floated around apartment complex clubhouses and local restaurants for monthly meetings, ending up at our house periodically when no other place was possible.  It meant 20 cars or so parked in our driveway, in the front yard, on the street for a couple of hours on a weekend afternoon.  The following happened about a week after one of those gatherings.

Surly Contractor lived next door to us, truly next door, as in I can't see his house unless I go out my driveway.  The distance between driveways is about 10 feet at the widest, so while I get to watch Dead Mama's family antics out my front window, I have to deal with Surly Contractor daily.

Surly's family consisted of a Middle Eastern wife, who he dominated because her culture was such and 2 horrible teenage delinquent kids who liked to hang out with Dead Mama's grandsons...mostly in my back yard.  His business was run out of his house (illegally) and he had been reported for doing this a few times.  Nothing like having work trucks coming in and out of a residential neighborhood all day, especially when at that time he was a painting contractor.  I say that time because he did some sort of crazy spray on roof business and repair handyman work at different times too.  All of which got him lots of TV coverage, when his shoddy work was displayed on "I'm telling" consumer hotline.  Nice guy.  NOT!

Ed and I were heading out one day and Surly Contractor stopped us as we were getting into the car.  He asked us and I am not exaggerating here, "Did you put some coke in the palm tree by my swimming pool?"

I should explain, to reach that palm tree, we would have had to gone past 2 fences and through a gate to reach it.

"Ah what?" I said.

"Crack cocaine.  I found some in the palm tree and I was wondering if it was yours.  I know what crack is, I used to be addicted to it."  he offered.

Suddenly a great many things became obvious with THAT statement.

Ed snapped at him, "No, we did not put crack in your palm tree."

Then Surly asked, "I know you have a lot of friends and parties, did any of them put it in my tree?"

He of course was referring to the 2-3 months of Trek meetings that had been held at our house.  I snorted, seriously Star Trek fans may be a lot of things, but the number of drug users I met was...nil.  Drinkers...that is a different story, but drugs no way.  I told Surly in a contemptuous way, "No our friends did not go into your yard and hide drugs, nor did we."

Ed and I left.  At the end of the driveway Ed asked, "Did he just accuse us of hiding drugs in his yard when he has TWO teenagers?"

"Ironic, isn't it.  The man is a ex drug user himself, his kids are delinquents and he thinks our Star Trek club hid the drugs inside his pool enclosure."  I said.

Then the thought of it sent both of us into laughter.  Seriously delusional man.

I mean I have my own house and yard...why the hell would he even think I would put drugs in his tree?

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